“I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image.”
If you enjoy these sorts of jokes check out:
http://www.i-rox.com and http://www.bash.org
Taken from the MIRC logs of #lawns. Now #slum.
We were talking about home brew.
[00:27] (Klynt) ooo it has a very fruity smell
[00:27] (Super_Vegeta) if u wanna trick to this...
[00:28] (Coddy) u been wanking in it already ffs
[00:28] (Super_Vegeta) *** Coddy has quit IRC
[00:28] (LH_|) errr no
[00:28] (Super_Vegeta) :P
[00:28] (Coddy) :/# [00:28]
(Super_Vegeta) ooh
[00:28] (Super_Vegeta) lil face with beard
[00:28] (Klynt) my gizz is more lager tasting, not fruity
[00:28] (Super_Vegeta) :|)
[00:28] (Coddy) good
[00:28] (Coddy) ill come round and supp it
[00:28] (Coddy) lager
[00:28] (Bobbeh) lol
[00:29] (Coddy) lager !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[00:29] (Klynt) you want to sup my Giz?
[00:29] (Bobbeh) hahahahaahhaah
[00:29] (Coddy) be round in 5secs
[00:29] (Bobbeh) lol
[00:29] (Coddy) !!!!
[00:29] (Klynt) really?
[00:29] (Super_Vegeta) lol
[00:29] (Coddy) yes
[00:29] (LH_|) he means i t
[00:29] (LH_|) he is out of his seat already
[00:29] (Coddy) lager tasteing giz
[00:29] (Bobbeh) op me
[00:29] (Klynt) hmmmm has a strange taste, but not unapealing
[00:29] *** wah sets mode: +o Bobbeh
[00:29] (Coddy) ill jump of the balcony to make more time
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
bob|cbat; its codd birthday today
bob|cba; and he didnt tell us
bob|cba; till an hour ago :/
Klynt; hmmmm
Klynt; slacker
Klynt; maybe we should bondage tape him to a lampost
Klynt; then video the reaction
Klynt; and take pictures to remind him
bob|cba; hmm
(qui) think you're a bit fucked in the head tbh
Klynt; you think that is fucked in the head?
Klynt; Pray you never meet me
(qui) :)
Klynt; for that is nothing
Klynt; still I think it's a good plan bob
Klynt; and your birthday on the 30th....... oooooo
bob|cba; i'm off home for my birthday Klynt
Klynt; and?
Klynt; you think I can't find you
bob|cba; i would hope so
Klynt; Even if I have to hitch hike I'll be there on a dark night
bob|cba; ic
Klynt; maklijng sure you 'enjoy' yourself
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{fooleh} i was screwed this morn
{Klynt} really?
{Klynt} by who?
{DrPerLine} me and one of my mates
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BUZZ!!!
Klynton: yes
scousersrule2002: who r u?
Klynton: Me
scousersrule2002: how do u know me?
Klynton: think you started a random chat with me a while back
scousersrule2002: ahwell heres something more random fuck off!
Klynton: i see
scousersrule2002: u see what? gay people? maybe you should not go to them places then
Klynton: heh, you 14 or something
scousersrule2002: no im 20 actually so dont try to come onto bender
scousersrule2002: me*
Klynton: You message me then complain about me talking to you. Hah.
scousersrule2002: cos ur a gay wanker!
Klynton: if you're through I'm trying to do work
scousersrule2002: haha u call that work?
scousersrule2002: lol
scousersrule2002: ur a first class prick who sucks dick outside gay bars
Klynton: if you're going to attempt to insult me can you at least use proper grammar
Klynton: it's not that difficult
scousersrule2002: whooooooooooooooo
scousersrule2002: yeah but its fucking long
scousersrule2002: and i dont wanna type slow like u do
scousersrule2002: this way i can do 4 insults 2 ur 1
at this point I stopped drawing with my right hand and typing with left, it was on;
scousersrule2002: you yahooligan
Klynton: I'm busy doing work on the other screen
Klynton: but if you really want a war
scousersrule2002: lol
Klynton: then i can give you one
scousersrule2002: war now u8r talking
scousersrule2002: come on then bin laden
Klynton: hahhaa
Klynton: you called that a war?
Klynton: are you as retarded in real life as you sound online
scousersrule2002: and u call anything a war ill get my hacking tools out prick
Klynton: or are you worsew?
Klynton: ahahaha
scousersrule2002: worsew? great grammer!
Klynton: 'grammer'
Klynton: priceless
Klynton: grammar prick
Klynton: you get these hacking tools from 'imalameassscriptkiddie.net?
Klynton: can you actually hack yourself
scousersrule2002: no im no script kiddie
Klynton: or do you have to use macrovirusmaker.exe?
Klynton: ya don't appear to be typing very fast
scousersrule2002: i dont use none of that shit i make all my own shit in C++
Klynton: even using your quick method
Klynton: C++ eh
Klynton: wow
scousersrule2002: im having a few wars here
Klynton: I'm so impressed /sarcasm
Klynton: bet ya are
scousersrule2002: and some pearl and delphi
Klynton: pearl?
Klynton: hahahhahahaa
scousersrule2002: fuck off
Klynton: no a in it cocksucker
Klynton: you wanted a war
scousersrule2002: yeah i do
scousersrule2002: so what u got 4 me?
Klynton: and delphi is just visual turbo pascal
Klynton: a noob version of algol
scousersrule2002: i wanted a war not a computer fair
scousersrule2002: im still online m8
Klynton: well in round about way I'm merely proving you are a lame script kiddie
scousersrule2002: come on mr expert ddos me
scousersrule2002: crash my pc
scousersrule2002: fuck me over prove u know shit
Klynton: Sorry I'm not 14 any more
scousersrule2002: ill even give u a open port
Klynton: you'd probably just report me
Klynton: and as a member of the BCS I'm meant to resist this sort of thing
scousersrule2002: i wont report u
Klynton: I got loads of open ports though
Klynton: if you want a dabble
scousersrule2002: lol
scousersrule2002: and u report me?
Klynton: nope I'm fair game
scousersrule2002: just let me sort my proxies out
scousersrule2002: what u expecting?
Klynton: in respect to what?
scousersrule2002: in respect to how far u want me to go?
Klynton: easiest way would be to reset the modem. Easy to get it, lots of open ports on it. Won't damage anything and will prove you can actually do things
Klynton: simple interface
scousersrule2002: what so u want me to d/c u with a ping from a unreachable ip?
Klynton: yeah go for it
I was thinking 'a' ping, well the modems a bit crap but surely;
scousersrule2002: mmmmmm should i? i dont know shit lol how do i get ur ip?
Klynton: you can't get an ip?
scousersrule2002: oh in dos
scousersrule2002: duh
Klynton: want me to tell you? tell you what maybe I should walk outside my room and reset it myself then we'll pretend you actually know to f=do it eh?
scousersrule2002: u with karoo yeh
Klynton: maybe
scousersrule2002: course u r
scousersrule2002: u adsl?
Klynton: what difference does it make?
scousersrule2002: just wanna know what size packet 2 send
Klynton: I'll let you find out from the ip address
Klynton: tis a simple task
scousersrule2002: u gareth?
Klynton: why?
scousersrule2002: cos i dont wanna fuck the wrong ip now do i?
Klynton: ;
scousersrule2002: u best not grass me
Klynton: i won't
scousersrule2002: any port scans?
Klynton: I'm not going to run you through doing it
Klynton: you either know or you don't
scousersrule2002: just wanna make surfe i got u
scousersrule2002: i do but i got 5 karoo ip's here
Klynton: 20% chance then
scousersrule2002: lol
scousersrule2002: i dont like them odds
Klynton: just throw a ten sided die
Klynton: and go with the resulting ip
scousersrule2002: and when i got u then its ur go ok?
Klynton: yeah
Klynton: whatever
scousersrule2002: to do the same task ok?
Klynton: I'm getting bored here
scousersrule2002: just getting all my info together
Klynton: if ya gonna do something do it
scousersrule2002: just tell me have i touched ur ip yet?
Klynton: no help I'm afraid
Klynton: is this going to take much longer, as I may have to pop out and get more booze soon
scousersrule2002: u booze? u get pissed on lemonade
Klynton: 'yus' thats right
Klynton: Actually absinthe is my poison. Although a nice scotch has to do at moment
Klynton: trying to find a place that sells black absinthe
Klynton: as the green is just boring now
scousersrule2002: i know a place
scousersrule2002: want the url?
Klynton: probably noobsareus.com
scousersrule2002: nah
scousersrule2002: u got ya drink?
at this point I had been downstairs and talked with arthur my housemate who recognised the user, and decided to join in;
amembleton (22:40:30): lo
scousersrule2002 (22:40:41): hi
scousersrule2002 (22:42:08): what u after fa**o
amembleton (22:42:28): sorry, was wondering how you were doing
scousersrule2002 (22:42:30): can i ask a favour?
scousersrule2002 (22:42:40): sorry wrong message
amembleton (22:42:46): yeah
scousersrule2002 (22:42:52): so can u help me out
amembleton (22:42:56): of course i can
scousersrule2002 (22:43:20): whats ur pc skills like
amembleton (22:43:38): i am a computer science graduate. I am very good
amembleton (22:43:41): why?
scousersrule2002 (22:43:50): i need some help
amembleton (22:43:53): oh really
scousersrule2002 (22:43:58): kinda
amembleton (22:44:07): go on...
scousersrule2002 (22:44:12): errrmmmm
scousersrule2002 (22:44:22): how would i ping someone offline?
amembleton (22:44:59): its just a simple DOS attack
scousersrule2002 (22:45:09): i know that
scousersrule2002 (22:45:15): but what dos commands?
we both almost pissed ourselves laughing, a DOS attack is an attack using MSDOS?;
amembleton (22:45:32): format c:\
scousersrule2002 (22:45:36): lolololol
amembleton (22:45:38): yeah
amembleton (22:45:44): you know better than that
scousersrule2002 (22:45:47): i dont wanna reinstall windows
amembleton (22:45:54): clearly you are very good with computers
scousersrule2002 (22:46:01): yeh and so r u
scousersrule2002 (22:46:25): i was only asking no need for the sarcasm i am female
amembleton (22:47:08): sorry you can't really attack someone offline
scousersrule2002 (22:47:17): they are online
amembleton (22:47:18): who are you trying to attack? I might be able to help
scousersrule2002 (22:47:24): i wanna send them offline d/c them
amembleton (22:48:03): have you got their ip?
scousersrule2002 (22:48:19): i dont how to get it
scousersrule2002 (22:48:23): know*
amembleton (22:48:26): how do you know them?
scousersrule2002 (22:48:34): off here
amembleton (22:48:41): yahoo messenger?
scousersrule2002 (22:48:44): yes
amembleton (22:48:52): why do you want to get rid of them?
amembleton (22:49:02): why don't you just block them?
scousersrule2002 (22:49:03): he asked me to prove i could do it
amembleton (22:49:09): do you fancy him?
scousersrule2002 (22:49:19): oh yes
scousersrule2002 (22:50:10): so r u gonna help me or not
amembleton (22:50:16): yes
scousersrule2002 (22:50:31): so what commands?
amembleton (22:50:32): i'm not sure exactly how to go about it
amembleton (22:50:41): there aren't any commands in windows
scousersrule2002 (22:50:48): u must do if ur a computer science graduate
scousersrule2002 (22:50:56): its in dos u said
amembleton (22:51:21): no, i meant DOS (Denial of Service). Its where you send lots of commands to a computer and then it gives up and dies
amembleton (22:51:25): don't worry
amembleton (22:51:36): whats his username?
scousersrule2002 (22:52:05): i dont want u to do it
scousersrule2002 (22:52:22): i have to do it
amembleton (22:52:24): ok
amembleton (22:52:27): i'm thinking
scousersrule2002 (22:53:23): ok
scousersrule2002 (22:53:31): u know anyone called klynton
amembleton (22:54:59): i know klynton.com
amembleton (22:55:03): that might be the same person
amembleton (22:55:07): www.klynton.com
scousersrule2002 (22:55:10): whats there?
amembleton (22:55:16): a personal website
scousersrule2002 (22:55:28): how do u know him?
amembleton (22:55:37): i don't. one of my friends knows him
scousersrule2002 (22:55:42): ok
amembleton (22:57:12): sorry, i'm stil working on it
scousersrule2002 (22:57:15): ok
amembleton (22:57:18): its difficult to do it from window
amembleton (22:57:20): windows
amembleton (22:57:29): not as many functions and tools for that sort of thing
scousersrule2002 (22:57:35): unix?
scousersrule2002 (22:57:38): linux?
amembleton (22:57:41): unix or linux would do
scousersrule2002 (22:57:53): hmmmmm
amembleton (23:00:22): have you visited klynton.com yet
scousersrule2002 (23:00:37): yeah could not be arsed 2 read that bollocks
back to me and teh 'script kiddie';
Klynton: yep
Klynton: you going to do owt
Klynton: script kiddie boy
scousersrule2002: boy?
scousersrule2002: im female
Klynton: shemale more like
scousersrule2002: whatever
Klynton: come on, if you write your own tools in c++ use one of threm
Klynton: anyway to the booze -;
scousersrule2002: ill sort u when u come back
Klynton: sort me while I'm gone
Klynton: the modem will inform me
scousersrule2002: ok darling
scousersrule2002: dont be gone long
scousersrule2002: e
Klynton: come on
Klynton: 213.249.214.156 Dialup modem
Klynton: tis you
Klynton: aint that difficult
thinking back you'd imagine they'd have backed off trying a DOS attack on an adsl connection from a dialup?;
scousersrule2002: ill find out 4 u
scousersrule2002: dunno find out
scousersrule2002: i know ur on 2 names
scousersrule2002: u find me through ur website?
Klynton: 2 names?
scousersrule2002: so what u got 4 me?
Klynton: 2 names?
scousersrule2002: yeh
Klynton: what do you mean 2 names?
scousersrule2002: the guy who sent me 2 ur site
Klynton: what guy was that
scousersrule2002: ur m8
Klynton: I have many mates
Klynton: you'd have to ellaborate
scousersrule2002: no
Klynton: i see
scousersrule2002: come on then u attack my pc
scousersrule2002: then ill set my friends on ya
scousersrule2002: and u might be doing computer science at hull wow
Klynton: I said I would attack you once you had proved you were not a script kiddie. Which I suppose you have, being unable to do anything at all even with those programs
scousersrule2002: but my m8 is getting a double first honours at oxford in computer science
Klynton: it's very sad not to be able to find a simple ip address
scousersrule2002: i got ur ip prick
Klynton: and I would suggest that you not try to 'scare' people if you can't sdo anything
Klynton: what is it then?
Klynton: if you actually found out then tell me what it is.
scousersrule2002: 213.249.245.114
Klynton: indeed it is. So after finding that, how come you can't do a DOS attack one me. Given that you have 'written programs in c++ to do that'
scousersrule2002: cos im doing shit loads of shit here
Klynton: ahahahahha
scousersrule2002: so i know u was on 2 names cos i had ur ip many times
Klynton: lame excuse of the year award goes to you
Klynton: I will admit you found me because of that
Klynton: and no it wasn't me talking to you
Klynton: aembleton is my housemate
Klynton: who was stringing you along, the comedy when you asked for help in doing 'a simple task' that you threatened to do for ages
scousersrule2002: lol i knew it was u
Klynton: and clearly know nothing about
Klynton: I would avise that you don't repeat that kind of threat to another person after your abismal attempt here. And I' m not sure but your complete n00bness might *just* make it onto www.i-rox.com a site for online quotes that are highly amusing.
scousersrule2002: haha
Klynton: And so I will say goodbye to you. You have been shown to be a fool who talks big, but knows nothing
scousersrule2002: lol
scousersrule2002: whatever ill be back l8r
scousersrule2002: when im more aware
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[19:50] ellisd; oy jon, if you hold a UNIX Shell up to your ear, can you hear the C?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
01:46] Klynt; hmmmm
[01:46] Klynt; just went to get some water
[01:46] Klynt; not sure what is more disturbing, the fact that I could hear one my housemates having sex, or the fact that they were singing along to my music whilst doing it.
[01:46] Klynt; I mean do I leave it? or find something with a real hard tune to follow
[01:47] qui; lol
[01:47] jonr_; arthur and lucy?
[01:47] jonr_; man
[01:47] Klynt; indeed
[01:47] jonr_; not needed
[01:47] jonr_; are you okay klynt?
[01:47] Klynt; Yeah I stopped to have a quick wank outside the door of course
[01:48] jonr_; ic
[01:48] qui; spunk all over the hinges
[01:48] Klynt; but after that I was fine
[01:48] qui; stop them from creaking
[01:48] Klynt; yeah you know
[01:48] jonr_; qui is disgusting
[01:48] Klynt; I'm glad you think qui's the perverted one
[01:48] qui; hehe